I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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