Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
