hotel room ftw
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
