Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
