It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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