So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
