I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
