why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
50% drunk capacity currently
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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