it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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