I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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