I just made out with a guy for $7.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
