david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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