we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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