I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
