I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
