So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
