Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
