all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
