If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
