there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
