Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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