Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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