I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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