Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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