i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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