We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
