forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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