Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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