Whats the count minus fat chicks?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
