I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
