Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's shark week go big or go home
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
