Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
