you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The power of my boobs compel you
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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