he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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