Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
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