Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
