A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
