also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
