I wannas sexs uuuuu
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
