So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
love makes seman taste better
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
