I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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