loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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