I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
