just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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