Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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