So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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