he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
