no, he came in my armpit
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Your penis caused this!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
