OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
