It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
