does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Why did my mother make you get naked?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
