i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
